first appearance: Latently Racist [1]

Bowen is chaotic evil.  He routinely ignores the laws of physics.  He doesn't really like things, but he dislikes Hal probably less than oatmeal, for example.

Bowen majored in theatre and works at a college.  He is a writer.  The Bearded Men all live with Bowen.

first appearance: Professor Uma [13]

Hal is the combination of the Tiny Robot and Dave's ashes.  He is a voodoo-electronic entity.  He is new to being human, like those people on Third Rock from the Sun.  He plays videogames all day and draws.  His family doesn't know what to make of him being a robot.

first appearance: Something Funny 1 [2]

Ben majored in Hotel & Restaurant Management and works for Shady Enterprises.  He is a member of the National Residence Halls Honorary, whatever that is.  Ben has given up on protecting Hal from Bowen.

first appearance: Latently Racist [1]

Shady is the head of Shady Enterprises, which is headquartered out of his dorm room.  He says "graduating college in four years is like leaving the best party of your life at 10:30."  He lives in Bowen's apartment when he needs to get out of the office.

Shady is based so loosely on a real person we know that he is probably one of the best-developed characters in the cast.

first appearance: A Terrible Poison [4]

MB majored in Astronomy and Aerodynamic Engineering.  She's probably the smartest person The Bearded Men know, but she only hangs out with them when she's relaxing, so they do not get the benefit of her intelligence.  Bowen and Hal amuse her.

first appearance: The Pain of Loss [6]

Bowen's former girlfriend.  Word is they parted on good terms.

first appearance: Tiny Robot [12]

Voodoo-electric combination of a tuna can, a Gameboy Advance, and Dave's cremated remains.  Designed by Bowen to infiltrate videogame design firms and remove minigames from future releases.  Murdered several game designers before being converted into Hal.

first appearance: Latently Racist [1]

Former coworker of Bowen's.  Dave was killed trying to remove an anti-theft device from his pants.  Dave liked pro-wrestling, videogames, and drawing.  His cremated remains were combined with the Tiny Robot to create Hal.  Hal retains many of Dave's traits, but rest assured: Dave is dead.

first appearance: TR Retrospective [32]

Steve is the one white guy that didn't hang out with us, proving we weren't racist.  He got too close to the Tiny Robot and lost his hand, but has come back with a sexy new hook.  He's a talented graphic designer, but since there's no jobs in that, he works for Shady Enterprises.

first appearance: It's a Trap [41]

Steelcoat knows all about computers, and tells amusing stories about failed relationships using AD&D as reference.  He is a perfect example of how to get into the comic: you take part in a funny situation with me, write up a guest strip for said situation, and I draw it.  Steelcoat has appeared in a landmark two comics, on strength of personality.